An Advocate for Victims of Violence Pleads for More Support

By Mary E. Medland

It wasn't supposed to be a permanent job. In 1982, Milwaukee's Sojourner Truth House — at the

ALSO SEE: ARTICLE: About Kathie Stolpman, former executive director, Sojourner Truth House

time, a shelter for victims of domestic violence that also offered treatment for abusers — was dealing with a number of staffing changes.

"My late husband was on the Board of Directors, and the board was eliminating positions, while other staff members were resigning in support of those who had been let go," says Kathie Stolpman, whose spouse, Michael J. Stolpman, was an Episcopal minister. "One morning over coffee, my husband asked me if I would step in on a temporary basis to help out. This would be a full-time position, and I'd be paid $5 an hour. My mantra was 'I don't have to stay, I am just helping out.'"

But stay Ms. Stolpman did — for 25 years — until she retired this winter as the group's executive director.

Ms. Stolpman's commitment shaped the organization, says Angela Mancuso, who has been named to take her old job.

"Her influence and impact on the community have been great," says Ms. Mancuso. "When Kathie started here in the 1980s, the fund-raising goal was about $30,000 to $50,000, and when she left, it was over $1.1-million."

She adds: "We would not have been successful if Kathie had not worked so hard to talk about the lives of victims, of families who are experiencing violence, and getting the community to respond. And being able to do that is truly a gift."

The charity, which served more than 24,000 clients last year, maintains not only a 37-bed shelter but also a center offering support groups and other programs to women and children, and counseling for abusers who wish to change their behavior.

Sojourner Truth House had always maintained a hotline for abuse victims, and some police officers responding to incidents of domestic violence would give victims the phone number. However, in 1986, Milwaukee passed a law requiring officers who found sufficient evidence of a crime to make an arrest, rather than ask victims if they wanted to press charges. When officers made an arrest, they were also required to call Sojourner Truth's hotline, explain the situation to the volunteer, and hand the phone over to the victim.

Before the change took effect, the hotline got 450 calls in a month; the month the law took effect it received more than 1,800 calls, says Ms. Stolpman.

In 1989, the city's mandatory-arrest law went into effect in all of Wisconsin. As a result, domestic-violence shelters throughout the state had to increase their resources to respond to increased demand for their services.

"I firmly believe we have to have the entire community become involved in order to address the issue of domestic violence and to become part of the solution," says Ms. Stolpman. To that end, Sojourner Truth's staff members began giving tours of the shelter, both to demystify the charity's work and to encourage visitors to become more involved.

"Sojourner Truth is very clear about what we can do, but we know we cannot do everything for everyone," says Ms. Stolpman, adding, "We are always supportive of the victim in whatever decision she makes, although there have been times when we have been very concerned about our clients. Women and children have to know they are not alone, and that they did not cause the violence."

In an interview, Ms. Stolpman reflected on what has changed over the years for domestic-violence victims and charities that serve them — and what hasn't.

What have you learned from your work?

How very complicated are the issues that surround domestic violence. The problems of the victims and children are very complex and very interconnected, and they demand that the community respond. One can't say, "Well, that's not my family, and this doesn't concern me." This is a community public-health issue that affects the workplace, the schools, and certainly the next generation.

Did you see an increase in instances of domestic violence over the years?

The numbers reported to the police have been about the same or a bit higher over the years. However, we have seen a decrease of women and children at the shelter itself. We saw this trend beginning with the welfare-reform program in the 1990s. There were many more steps that had to be taken to be eligible for public financial assistance, and many women were forced into the work force.

This change made it difficult for some women to access our assistance because their time was now taken up with training and working. Many women were so overwhelmed that it became much more difficult for them to come to us.

How is this country doing in meeting the needs of victims, and what should be done next?

We've made headway, but we still need a willingness on the part of those in Washington, those in state and municipal governments, and those in the private sector to say that this is wrong and to contribute the financial support to provide full services for individuals and families experiencing violence.

One very simple step I took was to have asked pastors, rabbis, and priests to annually give a sermon about this issue. If they speak about this from the pulpit, it lets someone in the congregation know that she has a safe person to go to — whether it is the abuser or the victim.

How did you stay on the job for so long and did you ever get discouraged?

We saw individual changes by many families for the better, and that alone is reason for hope. In addition, while we always were very focused on the issue of domestic violence, we didn't wear all of the social-service hats. I was able to make referrals to services in the community, knowing that those services would be available long after the women left the shelter.

Another reason I was never discouraged or depressed is because I have always had tremendous respect for the people we serve.

I have always honored their courage in making the first phone call or taking the necessary steps to move away from the violence. Never having gone through the experience of domestic violence myself, I am awed by the bravery.